Something Real Goood

http://www.wikihow.com/Accomplish-a-Goal

Maisa Aisa Kyoon Hoon !

Wonder those times in Lower School when we used to open books with Alphabets to see D- Doctor, P- Police and the pedagogical community spurring (or blurring) our dreams with all those pre-conceived ways of growing. Thanks to the similar South Indian parental dreams,the operating system of my dreams also booted up with just two options 1) Biology 2) Maths .But never being a back bencher until Graduation, I was good at both of them.But was it the spark that I wanted to stir-up, now I retrospect. Always, my career-graph train stopped at various junctions , the biggest of them was Astronomy and the Second being a Felon ala Hollywood way. Then drifted to music after looking at similar singers like me scorching people on TV and they getting responses from the dogs outside my apartment. Then looking at the poor and needy outside, it drifted to Social Service, followed by a faint hope in trying a hand at modelling and I'm sure, tomorrow its gonna be something else.. But sitting for hours trying to write lines of computer languages.. Where did this crawl into ? ?
Nevertheless to say, I still am crawling for doing those and really feel so cribbed .

The shells around me keep changing getting with it a different flavour of life...But there are just some things which keep their indispensable presence amidst this alterations : Music , Writing...
I still remember those lambasts from my teacher for whom I was a "COUNTRY BUMPKIN" with a crass accent. But avid reading and writing lateron got more applauses from all. The Pumpkin Turned Bumpkin proved tasty for many finally. But, if I want to have myself associated to good literature, writing a book is one way to bare it all. And being a suspenso-phile ( Hope Oxford adds this in its next release) , I have got base line ready. Edification is upto me..
From a bathroom singer to a less-scary singer outside, I have a long way and just as other professionals of the fraternity, it was not easy.
Will I stride in here too... ??

But................................................................................................................
In the book of life every page has two sides: we human beings fill the upper side with our plans, hopes and wishes, but providence writes on the other side, and what it ordains is seldom our goal. -- Nisami

Wishing Myself The Luck

Whatz Up ? ?

Things seem to be jeopardizing in many ways here with me. I feel a very negative influence on me which has actually made me look gloomy these days. If there was an interview and I were asked "Do you have regrets, times when you felt you were Low ?", I'd love to say I had very few but is it Truly that ? , I 'd be just Hypocritic enough to say that.

Is there an eclipse above me that it has become Dark or Is there an invisible shell slowly building around me which I helplessly see but ignore to repent aint scrub it hitherto ! . I see a dip in my Sense of Humour, Sense of Thought, Sense of Sociability,Spontaneity which has acutally made a "Take for Granted", "Terky-Jerky" image.Thought I would end this session by going on with my folks today but the fizzle with which it happened just made me Irate. A needle is a needle nomatter it is in a haystack or pricking to some one's neck. But it has just added to the ongoing B-A-D crap here.

Much more than this was the thought - fight I underwent yesterday when I saw a Pigeon being run over by the car in front of me. Some Samaritan picked it up and placed it at some corner of the road and left. Me, a self-proclaimed Vegan and Pro-animal sympathiser was rushing to office with respect to some issues which though were one more piece of Holy Shit to me, were project Fate Deciders for my Top Brass. I wished to go back and just do some first aid to the bird and leave it free but what stopped me ? One of the biggest Regrets I'm gonna have. My eyes just searched when I was coming by the same route today but could not find the bird and I just cannot imagine about the status of the bird, Its better I don't !! Coz I stand no Right here. There were thoughts reeling now... and just as I wanted to chill out from all this... Well , not just the usual way this time. May b a cockeyed option for me was A VISIT TO THE TEMPLE.Hope No Negatives here atleast....

Coz I've got 3 days to waste ahead of me

Long Time,No See

Apologies is what I can say. For the past 1 month, things have catched upon leaving me just like in WordsWorth's favourite Naturalism style "A leaf in the Wind". But I do have a lot of things up my sleeve now. Things once bleak on the horizon of my professional life seem to be getting a bit red with the Rising Sun. Hope my superiors countenance isn't this color :) . My Thread Ceremony seems to have becalmed the Present Me. Places and Stuff once frequented have become No-No. But just as the Principle of "Earth's Rotundity", the mish-mashed,willy-nilly way of life might just prop up again...not as a surprise for sure.One good thing though is that I have outgrown in aspects in this time : good in some sense but too young for such things may be.But one thing which I sometimes think failed over and over again : "When will I learn to be a better person with people ?". People,being the important resource in my life. But still, I continue to persevere in this direction.There is always scope for Improvement or may be there is always a better approach !

Many lives Many masters

Chapters were flowing like plays with series of prologues of epilogues and I was a mute dazed spectator to this Brain Weiss 's case study. This read unfolded one more thing...... that I am irresistible weak in my grit and perseverance. The book just wanted to get rid of me... but I really was not an easy nut to crack. And finally, was through and now with IGNITED MINDS. But all through the journey I was amidst two Places without any betwixts : Earth Plane and The Plane of SOULS. At times, I wondered about its veracity but may be there was an element of truth in it. Hindu Mythology has always talked about Re Incarnations long back, it coming under the critic's magnifier being the other side with a so-called SCIENTIFIC tag attached.But may be there was just a failure in the attempt of we folks to properly advertise it which formed a boon for others. That gets me to one more fact that we and we alone are Masters of our Lives. How we lead it and how we live it is what makes us what people call us. As I had mentioned earlier about my grit and persevarance, I really feel that chasm inside me for reasons known. But, unblushingly I deaf aside all those pealings and lead this life . But just as all bad things come to an end, the new change which I have been subjected to is helping me. And there are always more rungs in a ladder called LIFE. And my noesis of things which is taking me away from my nemesis needs more, an avarice of its own kind.

Truly,Madly,Deeply...

Sounds like I am one of those inexpertised cosmo whoz come prepared with all his baggaged anti-diluvian emotional arsenal on a DATE and just turn it OFF for her. Why would any soul commit a gaffe and pillory himself to a zilch in the social sphere. Long since I blogged and no such trinkets to come down this time. These two weeks has seen a lot of my unsabbatical "racing thoughts" went untapped : the mental sluice just could not be closed. It was a different incarnation altogether. It was just so different from the way I am now :solitary, restive, vulnerable.And the reason which I tried to figure out with "I was greedy of more from life" being a smithereen of it. I thought I just morphed my changed self with what a couple of people told "my original past self" : Obliging things are the best way to be loved (more and more) :-) . Was just reading a book on ancient civilizations with the author lambasting all the various finds of the hypocritic and narrow minded eclectics, an instance of Cognoscenti Vs. Intelligentsia in harsh words. Really made me plausible about all these stuff. I drifted myself when he was planning about flying to Mars or Venus in the pretext of filling this chasm in me. Then something got me out of this fancied fog : REALITY BITES. Made me wonder what suddenly made me so fraught :was anyone the cause or does its seminal pointer pricked me instead. The answer I found it yesterday in one of the mails by Swami Paramananda about oneself: "The more you are get into things, the more you learn, the more you face,more you fail". Just as the turmoil inside a bamboo during drilling and chopping before becoming a mirroring itself as a beautiful flute lest a log of carrying a corpse, I presume innocently that this is needed. But Can and Will I do it ? And Should I ?? . Once I used to expect : infantile though which the my mirror thinks of the person on the other side. But when the slate is clean, anythings scribbled on it is stuff reckoned. Sometimes it helps :my current pursuit of getting back to my old hobby :Meeting people with the foggest idea of what lies in both of our association.
There were lot of holidays here in India for the past 2 weeeks but my city thanked me for having been a non-contributor to the pollution during this time.But my fishes have something else to curse about, I have been pretty reckless towards G n J for reasons self-oblivious.Were parting buddies the cause ?? But I have already changed myself from the times when I moved out of my house an year ago to stay away. And thanks for that. Though not as late as I found my country's "Jantaa" on its 56th Republic at the groceries market May b I am still here to look at such things instead of seeing the Greener and Developed Pastures on the Atlas. The traffic jam exactly in front of the flag hoisting ceremony made me somehow feel patriotic though.

The palmist who saw my hand (whose hand inturn I saw and took my revenge :-) by predicting ) says I think a helluva lot. But he says I gonna have hair on my head for quite some time. Any takers atleast now !!!

Trip the light fantastic Toe

This wednesday evening snides my last week's for the number of pages which go down in my life's own blog. Two same days of the week but asunder in my lifestyle : Style I gave to my Life. And we had been Romans (true to the cliche) primped for the occasion. My white shirt glowing in the dark just smugly put me in the spotlight, though no passes passed by.Cooly settling by and the music was just addictive enuf to get that rollick starting....and then it was time for making it more interesting by including some inputs. Then came the hookah with its mild peach spirit and just bowled us.A couple of stares for our place and our noise did make some heads turn but....itz all in the place.A couple of things and then it was time for ...."Ek Main Aur Ek Tu Hain,.... Aur Havaa Mein Jaaadoooo Hein " bluffing us all the way to the flooor inviting us with "Come to meee... Bhool Jaaye Saaraa Jahaaan,Come to me...... Hum Banaaye Apni Jahaan" . And there were pushes, pulls but nothing is offensive on the floor but sensuous and less offensively sensual.

But "There is just one thing I gonna say about tonight :WOW " - Not Anonymous :-)

Disocciate

"Monsoon rain or Summer heat, You are the reason why I breathe.Tell me dear what is sweet ?? Is that you or your heart that beats !! " ... Truely good to see suchthings on mails or messages but in real life ?? . One of the Catch-22's in relationships is Emotions : May be seem to be a run-of-the-mill precepts but the real life itself corroborates the Element of Truth and we smug beings have nothing but to accept when it stares into our eyes. Then rolls out an avalanche of thoughts forcing us to ask just one question "Why does it happen to me alone ?" and the enumeration of "ME's" !!! I dare not waste my time revising Maths again. Many a times we cross roads with people whom we think should be with us through thick and thin : Craving is every Humane Human's Birth right !! But we end up being alone. Socialization,my gut-feel says was one nice facade created. Weeks pass by,Days pass by and so let people pass by. Why worth all this skullduggery with oneself ?? . Being practical in a radical way can be one way to be better and save ourselves from that Grey Matter Pressure lest be branded as an "Ever Brimming Emotional Sink" .

Mistake

Today was when I realised that I was very bad and unstrategic in doing some things. "There is no wrong way to do the right things" is a mediocre lore. In corporate, there is, there always is.I had slogged to do one task and it was just sidelined for some other non automated task.But still, I appreciate the smartness of the worker coz that alone makes one apart. I really cursed myself for that.Not, that out of jealousy I wrote this,but out of shame and realisation. It was just one more lesson for me.Of the countless one I learnt after getting into this stream.College approach never works.Getting the work done is important. Thatz it. Way to go and the gems of principles,tips,tricks to pick !!!! but ....the Prick on my way is "Where am I heading for ?? "