Long Time,No See

Apologies is what I can say. For the past 1 month, things have catched upon leaving me just like in WordsWorth's favourite Naturalism style "A leaf in the Wind". But I do have a lot of things up my sleeve now. Things once bleak on the horizon of my professional life seem to be getting a bit red with the Rising Sun. Hope my superiors countenance isn't this color :) . My Thread Ceremony seems to have becalmed the Present Me. Places and Stuff once frequented have become No-No. But just as the Principle of "Earth's Rotundity", the mish-mashed,willy-nilly way of life might just prop up again...not as a surprise for sure.One good thing though is that I have outgrown in aspects in this time : good in some sense but too young for such things may be.But one thing which I sometimes think failed over and over again : "When will I learn to be a better person with people ?". People,being the important resource in my life. But still, I continue to persevere in this direction.There is always scope for Improvement or may be there is always a better approach !

Many lives Many masters

Chapters were flowing like plays with series of prologues of epilogues and I was a mute dazed spectator to this Brain Weiss 's case study. This read unfolded one more thing...... that I am irresistible weak in my grit and perseverance. The book just wanted to get rid of me... but I really was not an easy nut to crack. And finally, was through and now with IGNITED MINDS. But all through the journey I was amidst two Places without any betwixts : Earth Plane and The Plane of SOULS. At times, I wondered about its veracity but may be there was an element of truth in it. Hindu Mythology has always talked about Re Incarnations long back, it coming under the critic's magnifier being the other side with a so-called SCIENTIFIC tag attached.But may be there was just a failure in the attempt of we folks to properly advertise it which formed a boon for others. That gets me to one more fact that we and we alone are Masters of our Lives. How we lead it and how we live it is what makes us what people call us. As I had mentioned earlier about my grit and persevarance, I really feel that chasm inside me for reasons known. But, unblushingly I deaf aside all those pealings and lead this life . But just as all bad things come to an end, the new change which I have been subjected to is helping me. And there are always more rungs in a ladder called LIFE. And my noesis of things which is taking me away from my nemesis needs more, an avarice of its own kind.

Truly,Madly,Deeply...

Sounds like I am one of those inexpertised cosmo whoz come prepared with all his baggaged anti-diluvian emotional arsenal on a DATE and just turn it OFF for her. Why would any soul commit a gaffe and pillory himself to a zilch in the social sphere. Long since I blogged and no such trinkets to come down this time. These two weeks has seen a lot of my unsabbatical "racing thoughts" went untapped : the mental sluice just could not be closed. It was a different incarnation altogether. It was just so different from the way I am now :solitary, restive, vulnerable.And the reason which I tried to figure out with "I was greedy of more from life" being a smithereen of it. I thought I just morphed my changed self with what a couple of people told "my original past self" : Obliging things are the best way to be loved (more and more) :-) . Was just reading a book on ancient civilizations with the author lambasting all the various finds of the hypocritic and narrow minded eclectics, an instance of Cognoscenti Vs. Intelligentsia in harsh words. Really made me plausible about all these stuff. I drifted myself when he was planning about flying to Mars or Venus in the pretext of filling this chasm in me. Then something got me out of this fancied fog : REALITY BITES. Made me wonder what suddenly made me so fraught :was anyone the cause or does its seminal pointer pricked me instead. The answer I found it yesterday in one of the mails by Swami Paramananda about oneself: "The more you are get into things, the more you learn, the more you face,more you fail". Just as the turmoil inside a bamboo during drilling and chopping before becoming a mirroring itself as a beautiful flute lest a log of carrying a corpse, I presume innocently that this is needed. But Can and Will I do it ? And Should I ?? . Once I used to expect : infantile though which the my mirror thinks of the person on the other side. But when the slate is clean, anythings scribbled on it is stuff reckoned. Sometimes it helps :my current pursuit of getting back to my old hobby :Meeting people with the foggest idea of what lies in both of our association.
There were lot of holidays here in India for the past 2 weeeks but my city thanked me for having been a non-contributor to the pollution during this time.But my fishes have something else to curse about, I have been pretty reckless towards G n J for reasons self-oblivious.Were parting buddies the cause ?? But I have already changed myself from the times when I moved out of my house an year ago to stay away. And thanks for that. Though not as late as I found my country's "Jantaa" on its 56th Republic at the groceries market May b I am still here to look at such things instead of seeing the Greener and Developed Pastures on the Atlas. The traffic jam exactly in front of the flag hoisting ceremony made me somehow feel patriotic though.

The palmist who saw my hand (whose hand inturn I saw and took my revenge :-) by predicting ) says I think a helluva lot. But he says I gonna have hair on my head for quite some time. Any takers atleast now !!!

Trip the light fantastic Toe

This wednesday evening snides my last week's for the number of pages which go down in my life's own blog. Two same days of the week but asunder in my lifestyle : Style I gave to my Life. And we had been Romans (true to the cliche) primped for the occasion. My white shirt glowing in the dark just smugly put me in the spotlight, though no passes passed by.Cooly settling by and the music was just addictive enuf to get that rollick starting....and then it was time for making it more interesting by including some inputs. Then came the hookah with its mild peach spirit and just bowled us.A couple of stares for our place and our noise did make some heads turn but....itz all in the place.A couple of things and then it was time for ...."Ek Main Aur Ek Tu Hain,.... Aur Havaa Mein Jaaadoooo Hein " bluffing us all the way to the flooor inviting us with "Come to meee... Bhool Jaaye Saaraa Jahaaan,Come to me...... Hum Banaaye Apni Jahaan" . And there were pushes, pulls but nothing is offensive on the floor but sensuous and less offensively sensual.

But "There is just one thing I gonna say about tonight :WOW " - Not Anonymous :-)

Disocciate

"Monsoon rain or Summer heat, You are the reason why I breathe.Tell me dear what is sweet ?? Is that you or your heart that beats !! " ... Truely good to see suchthings on mails or messages but in real life ?? . One of the Catch-22's in relationships is Emotions : May be seem to be a run-of-the-mill precepts but the real life itself corroborates the Element of Truth and we smug beings have nothing but to accept when it stares into our eyes. Then rolls out an avalanche of thoughts forcing us to ask just one question "Why does it happen to me alone ?" and the enumeration of "ME's" !!! I dare not waste my time revising Maths again. Many a times we cross roads with people whom we think should be with us through thick and thin : Craving is every Humane Human's Birth right !! But we end up being alone. Socialization,my gut-feel says was one nice facade created. Weeks pass by,Days pass by and so let people pass by. Why worth all this skullduggery with oneself ?? . Being practical in a radical way can be one way to be better and save ourselves from that Grey Matter Pressure lest be branded as an "Ever Brimming Emotional Sink" .

Mistake

Today was when I realised that I was very bad and unstrategic in doing some things. "There is no wrong way to do the right things" is a mediocre lore. In corporate, there is, there always is.I had slogged to do one task and it was just sidelined for some other non automated task.But still, I appreciate the smartness of the worker coz that alone makes one apart. I really cursed myself for that.Not, that out of jealousy I wrote this,but out of shame and realisation. It was just one more lesson for me.Of the countless one I learnt after getting into this stream.College approach never works.Getting the work done is important. Thatz it. Way to go and the gems of principles,tips,tricks to pick !!!! but ....the Prick on my way is "Where am I heading for ?? "

The KISS

The Way things are put here r much more abstract and evasive to fathom than their inherent manifestations. But i felt it was better to put it that way atleast the readers would really dont wanna hate me for writing this. So , this time, i put it aboard following the KISS principle - The "Keep It Simple and Stupid " . But now after being too sketchy has made my work more difficult in giving ala "Newspaper-Reporter" Details.But for that more adorable than obliging one one it has to be, to be. Wonder how itz gonna be sculpted out. Started writing this on 29 th but prolonged till the last day of the year -- An inherent Resolution staring at me while I type this: Not Deferring and Prioritizing Things and People offcourse. But this year has more of experiences in my kitty in different things : An year of learning, Partying, Parting. May b no year has seen so much of me than this one and may be it just whiffed off as soon as it started unable to bear the brunt.I have seen many of my life's parts' incarnations move away from me to some places farther than reachable. But may be there was somewhere a small Philosopher who stamped off that Selfishness in me to not let them go. I failed but am happy for that It made way for others to cross me leaving me behind and I have no regrets for that. An year that has made realise that there are still some things left undried which I thought were consumed in their entirety some time ago. I appreciate myself for having trying hard at the art of deft handling relations : Give Happiness and Be Selfish about the Blues ...... and this made me more abstract than ever but now its't coz i have just KISSED this Year with this "The KISS" manifestation. And I miss you 2005 !!!

The Inherent Human Mystery

Life - Creativity = Life - Life. Use your School maths and cancel "Life" :U truly cancel it. A truth that really cannot be denied by any one who has that small piece of mass above one's shoulder.As much as the ever increasing sun conceived shadow in the scorched half-past day,so proportionate is the enumeration of my ideas and plans which have mired me since long. But the catch here has alwayz been my lack of will-power else the ferrari of my mind would have just zooomed past giving more champagne's toast than Schumacher's. Simple illustration :Trip to Ajanta was really motivating which left me craving for that more ME out of Me Myself.But I just really couldnt make it only to give disbelief for the fact of not being an architect of crumbling jerrybuilt dreams.I stood beside the mighty Enlightend One's (c pic ) as the oblivion moon under the brightness of the broad day sun waiting to turn the table's on.Though after knowing myself, I just dint , dint..... . What happened ? ? . What really stops people from accomplishment :Fear, Confidence, Facilities . As a non-hypocritic ,I proclaim "ME" .

Not to Naught

I was just back from a seminar by a series of Technological Evangelists whose intellectual fathom(s) was difficult to comprehend at one go. Really made me envious and questioned about where I as a techy geek really figured out and the next instant, it was a simple "OBLIVION"-Starting off with a biiiiig "O". A fluster was not what I wanted to be.My good part is Prodding,my newest passion , the engine for my FERRARI.I shall,I will ..when is what my FERRARI answers !!

Reunion

Come December and just as the snow, good old chums landed here. And as I walked in the Hot Sunny afternoon into the house which I could not but ignore,I felt a sense of nostalgia bundled with scepticism about the person whom I saw grow up, show various reflections of their life to me,one who glued me with themselves in a bond which I will never ever fiddle around with.I knew the situation through which the person was going through - an aftermath of a broken "twined" relationship.
But the "SAME" warm hug had for an instant dispersed everything and made feel that I was everthing but worried.Felt like a genie freed from the water bottle washed to the sea shore after thousands of years of incarceration. And then my inhibitions were history.An Immediate ride on my new bike,cutting it past vehicles just turned it ON.

The second one was very very unadorned one when the person hardly showed any clear excitement and happiness on seenig us.May the place changed him or Is it the native's life style and language....

My Innocence...

I just began my second tryst with a minefield, Philosophy reading aloud a Betrand Russell master-piece, "Mysticism and Logic" analogous to a school going kid by hearting his maths tables. And more often than not, I feel my thinking being more straight than lateral reflecting a so-called innocence. There are very few "impedimental" words that I hate to be associated with and its Innocence that walks away with the top honours. Looking at the last 5 years of my life, there were instances of my ignorance spurred out of innocence which I spurned. Be it my self-esteem or my approach to people and life, I fluttered and flustered endlessly.Before it took the better of me, I sometimes detached myself and branded myself as "LONELY".But, a shift of place, my expectations from people and the way they collapsed has made me feel better by making myself pragmatic : Things are just the way their mortal carrriers are.Just be.. just be ... should be the way. It was only on two occassions that I diverted from this latest lesson of mine
1 ) Went over friendly and was called "AN OVERBOARDING FELLA" only to get back to ground .
2) Went a level ahead and went BROKE AND LOST but this was Innocence worth it.Many an instances here I was told I was "YOU ARE TOO DAMN SMART MAN ! " but little do they know that it was only my innocence that had brought us close... Unless until they unearth this piece of my artwork is from the internet ,I will remain....................? ? ? But, may be it's all over !!!!!!!!!!

Great Expectations

Its again that innocent ME which is making me jot this down . If I were some sovereign of a place, I would definately ordain "RIGHT TO EXPECT" for all the Right people. All the "Give More, Expect Less" craps and poops will have no space in my domain. Firstly : To make my territory a "love"ly place to live where people do not pass through such life's trying asptects. Make them architect their world they have dreamt coz only non-nonstarters make better people but not dream broken losers.
Secondly : Why should people be deprived what they want when they gave so much and were ready to give more ??? Basing this questions answer on those people's mercy who just for the reason that they have given us life and blood is truly an unlogical injustice to such hearts.

Rain ....

While the whole of South India is anticipating the aftermath of the Baaz Cyclone, its me - the only unpatriot whose inherently biased meteorolgy dept. prognosticates its arrival. Rain for me, has always been a latent player in games of my psyche, sailing me through all shadows of life. The only thing common to me and all my facets in my life was RAIN..... When my Heart danced in moments of my glory,When i was dull and wanted to be alone, When I loved to have been loved, When my emotions, feelings were hurt it was there : My SHARER. But this treasoned me that day when my HEART BROKE , under the pretext of "LIFE HAS TO MOVE ON " at a place where two things never meet but they balance the whole Bogies in a train called Life.And I was wishing it would rain ........ A facade not to let the world around know !! It did, but for that "EXTERNAL ME" ....... I WISH IT RAINS !!!

Pendulum Called Life

Have I Lost Again ??

Many a times in life I find myself in an enigmatic situation, a situation where i think, i have no clue Who I am , What do I do and Where do I go next ?? . I grew up having myriad aspirations and a dream which thankfully I still do. But as time passing by , everything to me seems to dull and life sullen.......

Have I really given Life its due SHARE after venturing out for 20 odd years